ANZ has a new logo. What the hell? Do they want to give me a hug? Is it something to do with anime? Or is it just some weird stylised crap that makes no sense.

I think it is the last one, personally. ANZ, please fire your graphic designers, they are making too much money and spending it on crack again.

The 18-year-old youth was 17 and on a learner’s permit when he stole a Holden Rodeo ute at a party at Cheltenham in Melbourne’s southeast, the Moorabbin Kingston Leader reports.

Wait, was he eighteen or seventeen? Gah, you guys suck.

Good idea: Not wearing shoes as it’s better for your feet.
Bad idea: Not wearing shoes as I twist my feet when I walk and developed two nice fat blisters last night.

• In the Judeo-Christian tradition, we always look to the Bible as a guide. In this example, your teenage son has returned home from the prom intoxicated. The Bible’s instruction is:
  1. Sit him down for a heart to heart talk
  2. Enroll him in AA
  3. Take away his driving privilege for one month
  4. Smash his head in with rocks
• In this example, your son-in-law, returned from his honeymoon, has just told you he suspects your daughter was not a virgin on their wedding night. Wishing to abide by God’s holy rules as laid out in the Bible, you should:
  1. Ask him if he was a virgin before you do anything
  2. Advise him to forgive her
  3. Talk to your daughter
  4. Go find those rocks

The Thinker

You are analytical and logical – and on a quest to learn everything you can.
Smart and complex, you always love a new intellectual challenge.
Your biggest pet peeve is people who slow you down with trivial chit chat.
A quiet maverick, you tend to ignore rules and authority whenever you feel like it.
In love, you are an easy person to fall for. But you’re not an easy person to stay in love with.
Although you are quite flexible, you often come off as aloof or argumentative.
At work, you are both a logical and creative thinker. You are great at solving problems.
You would make an excellent mathematician, programmer, or professor.
How you see yourself: Creative, fair, and tough-minded.
When other people don’t get you, they see you as: arrogant, cold, and robotic.

Yup, that’s me.

You are a Mouse!

Mice are usually well-liked, but not nearly as outgoing as some of the other popular species. Part of you likes your little hole-in-the-wall getaway, but you still need to have your close friends, too. You’re not the center of the crowd like some others, but who needs that mess?

As usual, click here to take the test yourself – meme stolen from RMB

Your result for what Invader Zim character are you?… You are Gir (88% Gir)

Take what Invader Zim character are you? at HelloQuizzy

On Mon Aug 25, 2003 ******** wrote:

“Hello, I am a ‘generously proportioned’ male (375 pounds) with a less than generous penile length (4 inches erect). I seek a vendor of quality inflatable sheep who can give away free samples as I am unemployed. Best regards.”

Found in my message history as I went to say something to a friend.

Stranger still, as I went looking for the above link, the site broke. WTF? (or maybe it was just my proxy. sigh.)

http://www.thingsididlastnight.com/

Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Level | Score
Purgatory | Very Low
Level 1 – Limbo | Very Low
Level 2 | Very High
Level 3 | Moderate
Level 4 | Very High
Level 5 | Very High
Level 6 – The City of Dis | Very High
Level 7 | Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge | Very High
Level 9 – Cocytus | Very High

Level descriptions: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/dante-inferno-information.html

Take the test: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/dante-inferno-test.mv

Seventh Level of Hell

---

Guarded by the Minotaur, who snarls in fury, and encircled within the river Phlegethon, filled with boiling blood, is the Seventh Level of Hell. The violent, the assasins, the tyrants, and the war-mongers lament their pitiless mischiefs in the river, while centaurs armed with bows and arrows shoot those who try to escape their punishment. The stench here is overpowering. This level is also home to the wood of the suicides- stunted and gnarled trees with twisting branches and poisoned fruit. At the time of final judgement, their bodies will hang from their branches. In those branches the Harpies, foul birdlike creatures with human faces, make their nests. Beyond the wood is scorching sand where those who committed violence against God and nature are showered with flakes of fire that rain down against their naked bodies. Blasphemers and sodomites writhe in pain, their tongues more loosed to lamentation, and out of their eyes gushes forth their woe. Usurers, who followed neither nature nor art, also share company in the Seventh Level.

Neuroticism (91)

91

Extraversion (21)

21

Openness to Experience (40)

40

Agreeableness (26)

26

Conscientiousness (7)

7

Porn? OK

Movies? OK

Information on useful things in life? Heaven forbid!

Oh, and while I’m admitting my sins, last year I looked up how to tie a tie on youtube, something that was never taught to me.

  You scored high on both masculinity and femininity. You have a strong personality exhibiting characteristics of both traditional sex roles.

Link: The Bem Sex Role Inventory Test written by weirdscience on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Dear Fred,
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my potato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over I know you would dig the plot for me.
Love,
Dad

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

Dear Dad,
For heaven’s sake, don’t dig up that garden! That’s where I buried the BODIES!
Love,
Fred

At 4am the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Dad,
Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love,
Fred