yaleman.org

Dear Sir,

If I tell you to click continue, you don’t need to confirm with me twice to make sure I’m completely sure. Please just click the damn button.

Thanks,
James.

Dear customer,

When told to call back if the drivers don’t install, don’t wait six days and then call us. When you’re told that it’ll take a few days for us to send you a modem, don’t start whining and tell me that it’s urgent and you need one straight away – you’re no more special than the many other people that have these faults every day.

James.

Dear Sir,

You have admitted that you don’t know anything about computers. Based on the fact that I do know a lot about computers, please trust me and attempt to answer my carefully worded and relatively easy questions. Things like “what colour is the button in the bottom left of your screen that says start on it” or “what colour is the box in your hand” can be answered by most monkeys after a small amount of training, so you should be able to do it after a couple of goes.

Thanks,
James.

Dear sir,

Arguing with me over the fact that I am required to send a technician to fix your ADSL will get you nowhere. When you continue to argue and I tell you that the other option is that I could just close the case and not send a tech, don’t whinge more.

Thanks,

James

“I installed the Bigpond before I installed the Mcaffee so it can’t possibly be blocking it!”
“…”
“… right?”

“What comes up when you open Internet Explorer?”
“2003e, the Authentication host was unreachable.”
“… what does the blue bar across the top say?”
“Bigpond Cable Login Client ver..”
“… Is that Internet Explorer? No. It’s not. Can you open Internet Explorer for me please?”

Dear customers,
 
If you are 70 years old, don’t know anything about computers and are too blind to read things on the front of your modem, please get a friend to come and help you when you have issues.
 
Thanks,
James.

Find out from someone else how to right-click, cause IVE GOT BETTER THINGS TO BE DOING WITH MY TIME.

P.S. If I’m asking you to read something, turn the lights on, or find a freakin’ torch, don’t just tell me it’s too dark and you can’t read it!